paintedposies » creating, growing, planning, living and capturing a well-crafted life

getting my hopes up

It’s a gloomy Sunday here.  Cloudy and grey and chilly.  But nice I guess, if you’re in the mood… How’s yours going?

So… OK.  This is what’s on my mind: I’ve never handled disappointment well. As a kid, I’d cry and cry if I had my hopes up for something and then it didn’t happen. I remember one particularly rough day, sitting in our playroom window all afternoon watching the driveway below as the sky turned from bright blue, to grey, navy and then, finally, pitch black. I was waiting for a family friend to come pick me up and take me out. I sat in that window all alone, telling myself over and over that if I just waited a few minutes longer, they’d pull up and whisk me away and I’d have the time of my life and just be patient, they were coming, they’d be here, any minute they’re going to turn the corner and any second I’d see the whites of their eyes. That’s what my dad use to say “Don’t count on so-and-so until you see the whites of their eyes.” Or another favorite “Don’t hold your breath.” At any rate, I distinctly remember sobbing my eyeballs out at the letdown that day, feeling so dejected and sad I could cry even now just remembering how it hurt my feelings so bad. Funny how those things stick with you, huh?

Hope Ren Fest February 2015

Anyway, I’m not good with being let down, even as an adult. If I have my heart set on something, work hard towards the end-goal, see something, envision it, live it and breathe it, I don’t let go of it easy. But that’s my thing, and probably not yours. Or maybe it is. If I had to guess though, you probably have your own thing. That one little thing that gets you right in the gut, right? I think it’s human to have something that just gets at you…

Hope Ren Fest February 2015

I was let down recently. It’s still tender. I have a dear, sweet friend who is having like, the biggest let down ever, and my heart is breaking for her, too. It just made me want to write and vent a little and say, maybe try to remember that everyone is dealing with something every single day. Some days are harder than others. And even when there’s a smile pasted on their face, their insides could be watching the skies turn to grey. Just saying…

Hope Ren Fest February 2015

I hope that whatever you’re dealing with today, that you catch your breath soon. Love and light, guys.

Hope Ren Fest February 2015

this beautiful girl is our niece, hope.  do you get it?

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