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wandering eye wednesday: week ten/3

Cloud Angels

**Fair warning: this gets a little deep!**

Someone recently told me that nothing happens without a reason. I believe it. I do.

I know it’s weak to say so, but I’ve been sad. So sad. It’s depressing. I am mourning the loss of two very special people to me. Just when I thought I was on the other side of grieving, I whispered goodbye to someone else. One young and unexpected, one old and relieved of pain. There are lots of ways to die, and neither one seemed any easier than the other.

I feel like I was tossed into a dark tunnel where I keep trying to chase the light. It works sometimes! I feel the warmth of happiness and hope. And then, there is that incessant blanket of grey that tries to smother my joy…

I am not the kind of person who throws it all out there for everyone to see. To be honest, I’m tired of so many condolences, uncomfortable with kind words, and terribly impatient for total happiness.

The thing is, the reason I’m even mentioning it, is because everywhere I turn there are signs of solace. I walked out of work the other day, from a dark hallway to the brightness of sunshine, and was greeted by what appeared to be angels in the sky. I believe that if you look for signs, you will find them. Nothing happens without reason. Could these cloud angels be a sign of my lost loved ones looking over me?

I think they are, because in my heart no one is ever really gone if I’ve loved them. I realize not everyone thinks the way I do, and that’s OK, too. But this sight caught me off guard on a terribly sad day and provided comfort like nothing else could at that moment. Even with all the lovely people and activities I fill my time on Earth with, the sadness wiggles in and makes me feel like I’ll never escape it. The truth of it, though? Unexpected bits of happiness make the hard bits more bearable. And finding meaning in them lightens my heavy heart.

So I’m sharing all of this with everyone in the hopes it reaches someone out there who needs it today. Maybe reading this is someone else’s thing that happens for a reason.  There’s hope.  I haven’t lost it. I know it’s there. I just need to enjoy the good times, look to the sky, and let it be. I’ll feel better soon enough. I hope that if you’re going through something similar, you believe that, too. Love and light sweet friends.

PS. This photo was taken with my iPhone in a hurry, edited with Snapseed slightly.

Editor’s Note: More on this.

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